There have been times that we feel fat or are actually fat. To all those who have been hugely blessed by sharp godly-like features and model vibes, well, good for you. You may stop reading this post and continue with your life that is strewn with compliments and adoring stares. To those who fall in the average category and the fat category, welcome. Many a times, we look at ourselves in the mirror and we deeply wish that we were like those models on magazine covers. Those V-shaped faces, collarbones, tight waists, toned thighs and slender arms…. none of these actually belong to us.
Before I dwell deeper into this, I must say that as an Asian, I have small Asian eyes, 36D bust, size 14 top, chubby body parts and an occasional V-shaped face. Yesterday, I met guy J whom I knew from a popular dating website. After meeting for 30 minutes, we parted our ways.He texted me saying that my profile picture should be a more realistic picture of myself (there has been no photoshop done to any of my pictures) and that my face was like a watermelon. He went on saying that if he had to go on about my arms and thighs, it would be hurtful.
Well, I wasn’t offended but upset at the fact that J who was telling me this was not a perfect human being or like an A&F model. In fact, he was the contrary. At a height that was barely 175cm with no six-packs and a face that was not V-shaped, he seemed to be looking for the impossible. I was partially shocked by his words but it was a good lesson learnt.
In this generation flooded with technology and time that is always running out, we turn to dating websites like OkCupid and Tinder in hope to meet the love of our life. We begin to forget that love is a result of a process of interaction and communication. While good looks are a bonus, they are not necessary. What matters is the character and how well communication goes. Yet, that being said, many of us would find ourselves guilty of pausing at a hot guy’s profile, ogling at his abs and clicking the “Like” button. We spiral into a wireless communication where photos are deceiving and characters are built virtually, stashing away our real selves where we can act freely and even show our ugly side. What has become of the real us? Are we really who we think we are?
All those ladies out there who have been through similar situations, fret not. You are beautiful the way you are even if you are not blessed with a sizzling hot body and doll-like features. We are all complete in our own way even though society makes us feel otherwise. The superficiality of dating websites and beauty standards should not tell us who we should be, how our lives should be led and push us towards the abyss of shame and depression. We are way more beautiful than surface value, these superficial humans and society have failed to see our struggles, our moments of joy when the weighing scale tilts left, the food we love but choose to shun, the amount of exercise we try our best to do and the tears we have shed every time we feel less complete than we should be.
Fuck superficiality, fuck society’s beauty standards, fuck guys who make us feel ugly and piggish, embrace your unique beauty, be confident and be yourself. Laugh the way you want to, eat what you want, wear what you want and don’t you ever worry about what others say. These judgmental people are the true ugly pathetic lot. That form of uniqueness and confidence is real beauty, unbeatable across nations and all sorts of beauty standards.
I’m a size 14 and I’m darn proud of it. If you have got an issue with that size, get the hell out of my life, you are not needed here.
P.S. If you are curious, here are some pictures of myself: