For ages, love has been greatly celebrated by us especially in music for past decades. Be it a breakup or a blissful relationship, we, despite all our fullness and self sufficing ways of life seek to find that special someone to lean on and trust in. Maybe that is why the saying goes,” No Man is an island” because there is someone out there searching for someone like us. Today, I was approached by two girls who, in pursuit of the Valentine’s Day fever, asked me a question,” What do you look for in a relationship?” I chuckled inside me. This question has been in my head ever since the day I was attached. Here are my two cents worth of what every person should look for in a relationship:
1) A future
- This, in my opinion, is the most important reason of all. Every relationship breaks when one or both persons no longer visualize a future together. Pragmatic as it seems, love and passion is not everything. They are elements that keep the chemistry alive for that moment but what makes a chemistry last is beyond those electric waves of passion. It is the desire to want to create a future together with your significant other, to foresee how life would be and that form of fantasizing will make you realize how much you love him/her and how much you want to strive towards to the future.
2) Someone who accepts you for who you are
- Definitely easier said than done. As humans, comparison is an inherent characteristic of ours. We always want to have the best, even when it comes to lovers, Be with someone who loves you for your disgusting ways, your love handles and double chins and yet still think you are beautiful/handsome because in his/her eyes, you are the only one that he/she needs. I can confidently say that there will always be someone out there who is better but the question is, ” Why are you looking for the perfect one when you yourself are flawed?” If you have found someone who loves you just the way you are, hold onto that person and never let go.
- This is another important key in every relationship. When you realize that you no longer have anything to say to him/her and even quarrels are replaced by silence, that is when you should reconsider your relationship. You two may be the couple that bickers all the time but there is communication going on and bickering eventually leads to an airing of views and hopefully acceptance! Of course, we would choose to be with someone who is able to ‘click’ with us!
- Be with a man who is sincere, ladies. He may be a sweet talker but he is not worth your time if he is not sincere in his speech and actions because all he is saying is just for courtesy’s sake. Be with a man who is not afraid to tell you the truth, who dares to apologize, open to your views and ideas and proves his love for you with actions. He does not have to shower you with lavish gifts all the time because when you appreciate a sincere man, even an occasional handmade card would send you to the high heavens.
- This is one quality that I highly value in my partner. Why maturity, you may ask. Let me put the pieces together for you. A mature person is not quick to anger or quick to envy, he/she places trust in you and allows you to pursue your dreams without wanting to obsessively tie you down because he/she understands that you have a right to lead a fulfilling your life goals and he/she is mature enough to be there silently supporting you without throwing fits demanding that 100% of your attention is not focused on him/her. A mature individual knows the rules of the relationship which you two have set out and he/she is willing to commit wholeheartedly without you needing to worry about any third parties. A mature person also knows how to see the situation and not bellow at you in public or shame you in front of your family and friends. He/she knows the meaning of respect for you, your family and your friends. Just a little reminder, maturity is not positively correlated to age! Some people may be way beyond their youth yet have never been any more matured. Instead, maturity comes with experiences and lots of reflection about one’s life and actions. Be with someone who is mature enough to want to protect and grow a relationship with you without stifling you or stumping your dreams. Instead, he/she will be the wings that lift you up into the skies where your dreams lie among the clouds.
I had been on numerous dates but had never been successful and I have been extremely blessed to have found someone who fits whatever I had been looking for. We have been together for almost 4 months and while it may be short, we understand that we are on a journey together to pursue our dreams without forsaking each other. To those who are still searching, do not be disheartened for he/she will come along but keep these points in mind so that you will not fall for a person who would sweep you off your feet at this moment but break your heart the next moment. To all couples, treasure the one you have and love him/her with all your heart and soul because it is hard to find someone who would love you just like how he/she does in his/her own little ways.