A letter to my almost lovers

A letter to my almost lovers

Dear XXX,

Remember me? I was the one who foolishly went all the way out for you when you needed someone to be there. I was the one who was willing to make the silent sacrifices when no one else could. I was the one who cared the most for you when you were busy fussing over someone or something else. Do you even remember? How long was it since we last talked? Ages. Remember how we had so much to say and the memories we created?

How are you now? Are you doing well? Have you forgotten everything we shared together? Including my face? Do you know, I used to be brimming with hope whenever I looked into your eyes, you were like a dream come true for me and I felt we could have a future together. But in the end, everything was an illusion.

Yes, it has been ages but it remains a piece of shattered memory in my heart. We never started yet it felt as if we had. You, my almost lover, was the world to me, the sunshine in my mornings and the sugar to my bitter coffees. Today, my mornings drone by and the world spins past as I sip my bitter coffee. I am tired with all those almost lovers; exhausted and empty. But, thank you, thank you for coming into my life at a certain point and lighting up those flames in my cold, dead heart although you were the ones who extinguished those flames in the end. Yet, thank you.

Goodbye for now, my almost lovers and if destiny allows, we will meet again as strangers once more.


My thoughts on Conchita Wurst’s ‘Rise like a phoenix’

I have never been an ardent fan of Eurovision. I am a small citizen from Singapore who has limited knowledge about the eurozone. I do not claim myself to be an expert in this field but something attracted me so strongly to the 2014 Eurovision. Conchita Wurst’s song has pulled me in so deeply that whenever I hear her song, I could feel my previous pains and emotions spilling out of my soul. Her song has such strong words; it reminds me not to forget to step out of my bad memories, to rise out of the ashes and to live on the way I want it to be. Honestly, when I first saw the video, I was utterly shocked by the beard. I slowly understood the rationale behind it and her interview made me have so much respect for her. Indeed, looks are just so secondary yet so many people nitpick and pay undue attention to things they do not like of others. Yet again, why not let others be who they are when they do not harm others? Are we living in a world where differences cannot be tolerated and people’s hearts are so narrow and unforgiving. There is no manual to life. We create our own manual. Just like what Conchita said, ” you only have 1, live it the way you want and be happy.” After all, Eurovision should have something so meaningful and hopefully this provides a new vision for all the European countries and the world as a whole. Thank you Conchita for giving us such a beautiful message and I personally feel that Austria deserves this award. Especially you, Conchita.

“What do you th…

“What do you think? I’m not a starfish or pepper tree. I’m a living, breathing human being. Of course I’ve been in love. ” -Haruki Murakami

Have you ever looked at someone so dearly, see the stars in his eyes, feel the fire in his heart and taste the kisses in his mouth? Maybe you have, maybe you haven’t. But at some point in our life, we would go through a phase like this. And that is how I feel about you. 

You are the person I could never love but in my heart and my dreams, you haunt me again and again. The sight of you fills me with so much awe that every haunting experience is so beautiful and breathtaking.  I remember every detail of our conversations, how we met and every memory of ours. 

You never know because I will never tell. I will only drop you little hints in hope that you will feel my heart. But for now, let me be greedy for a little while and love you with my eyes closed. 

“In my dream, y…

“In my dream, you are mine. But in my life, you are a dream.”

I don’t know how to tell you

My feelings and my fears

My liking for you

Deep as the ocean


I don’t know what I am feeling

The ups and downs in my heart

The fleeting and cringing

It’s both heaven and hell


I can’t tell you how much I miss you

For fear you would reject me

I know I am never good enough

Yet, I think about us


It is but a dream that flames my hopes

An impossible fairytale I have spun

But can you even hear,

The deepest and silent calls of your name?


What is it exactly?

I wish I knew

I wish I could ask you

But I can’t