How many times have we met people in our lives whom we thought for a moment, would be with us for a lifetime? How many a times, we felt we could let passion rule over reason? How many a times, we felt like giving in to someone although we knew it was wrong, although we knew it was a temporary relationship, although we knew it was nothing of what we, ourselves, expected?
The burden of disappointment sits heavily on my heart as I looked at you while the taxi drove away. I could never fathom the expression in your eyes, I could never decipher the meaning behind your action, comprehend the truth among your sweet nothings and truly feel the warmth in your hands. I am paranoid, I am fearful and I am constantly bogged down by thoughts that all you wanted was my body. I looked hard into your gaze over dinner. Those eyes, so big and adorable, made my heart melt. I wanted to see your thoughts but there seemed to be a barrier I could not get over. When we went our separate ways, you texted me to say that you felt we could not understand each other. My heart sank. I knew for a fact, we would never see each other again. Those 3 weeks of crazy, intense chatting have all disappeared into thin air. A sense of emptiness blanketed over me. The next few days, I was in cold turkey, I waited by my phone, read through the numerous amount of texts we sent each other and ran through that night I met you. I knew that you would not be like me. You were most probably on your way to meet another girl or texting one right now while I am writing this. Silly, aren’t I? You used to say how silly we were. But, I think I am the only silly one.
You were slowly fading in my mind, I could barely see your face or remember the warmth of your hands or hear that beautiful accent you have. I knew I could completely forget about you and move on to someone better. I had stopped going back to your messages or wait for your text. Suddenly, at 12a.m., you sent me a message along with that icon you love to use. “Have a good night.” it read out loud in my face. All the walls around my heart crumbled down instantaneously, your face was vivid in my memory and thoughts of you whirled madly in my head.
It used to be your sleeping time before you met me.
Now, it is back to 12a.m.
We are strangers once again.
You are the one who breaks my heart at 12a.m..
You are the 12a.m. guy.