“Once you had put the pieces back together, even though you may look intact, you were never quite the same as you’d been before the fall.”
― Jodi Picoult
I am a sunken individual. I have lost my senses, emotions, fears, and clarity. I am brave yet afraid, cold yet hot, alert yet confused. Life spins around me at lightning speed. Fast, faster, fastest. I cannot breathe. I do things I do not understand. I lose myself in a whole new world and bounce between reality and fantasy. I search within only to find emptiness accompanied by bloodied fragments, impossible to be pieced back. Blood concentrated with booze, smoke, darkness, tears, broken kisses and crushed hopes.
There you are, your back towards me. The empty promises you mouthed burst like fragile soap bubbles in the air. Your gaze pierced through my broken soul. Your voice reverberating in my ears. Your touch stinging like a poisonous bite. I cannot reach you. Within arm’s length is only your shadow, so dark and cold. Next to your shadow is another one that is not mine.
I cannot feel the hurt. I cannot feel my heart. A salty river flows from my eyes, my body loses strength, my mind is blank and my spirit has evaporated. The day seems dark and merciless. No voice comes out of my chords. I am caged up once again, this time, by a different him. Through my broken body, an ironic mock emerges. Loud, louder, loudest.